


Getting Tedious

by SherlockedGinger



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Male Slash, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 23:31:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockedGinger/pseuds/SherlockedGinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wish you would stop that." Sherlock grumbles. "Stop what?" "Telling everyone... that we're not a couple!" The boys aren't fooling anyone and this constant denial is getting tedious. Why can't they just stop lying to themselves and everyone else? Just a bit of fluff and fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Outburst

**Author's Note:**

> This is a slightly older fic of mine and in re-reading it as I'm posting I've come to realize it's almost a crack-fic. While it wasn't written for that genre it would be better if you read with that expectation. It's a fun fic but there are many elements that make it imperfect. That being said I hope you enjoy it in some regard.

"You boys enjoy yourself here." The older woman behind the counter says as John pays for his order of coffee.

"We will." John starts, before correcting her by adding " I mean we're not - We're just friends. On holiday."

"Oh. Of course." she responds with a smile that tells him she doesn't believe a word of his protest.

They're on a case for Mycroft in small town outside of London; investigating attacks on government employees who vacation there. They're staying at an inn up the road from the cafe where the employees and their families usually stay. Apparently the inn is linked to the attacks; according to Sherlock anyway. Something about fibers from a maid's uniform.

 

Her husband who is manning the other end of the counter recommends "You should stop by Lana's for dinner. Just up the road. Elegant little place; great for some quiet time together."

John's mouth twitches in irritation as he says "Thanks. But really we're not -"

"John let's go." comes an irritated huff from beside him. Sherlock takes his cup and quickly sweeps out of the cafe leaving a bemused John in his wake.

He quickly catches up with him though muttering that it was a bit rude for Sherlock to just sweep away like that.

"We had our coffee they had their money. What's the point in hanging about?" Sherlock inquires rhetorically.

John doesn't bother with an answer; just sips his coffee.

"While we're on the topic though, I do wish you would stop that." Sherlock grumbles.

John lowers his cup in confusion. "Stop drinking?" he questions.

Sherlock throws him a sidelong look that tells him he is being ridiculous.

"Stop what then?" he questions, down at himself and around in confusion, trying to ascertain the cause of Sherlock's upset.

Sherlock lets out an irritated huff and snaps "Telling everyone who so much as smiles in our general that we're not a couple!"

"But we're not." John quickly protests; growing more confused and frustrated by the second.

Sherlock gives him an odd sort of sideways glance before quickening his pace; leaving John struggling to catch up.

"Sherlock? What is this about? Sherlock!" He shouts as the detective continues to hurry ahead of him. "Damn it Sherlock! Stop!"

He says finally reaching him and grabbing his arm yanking Sherlock around to face him. "What's this about Sherlock? Why don't you want me to tell people we're not a couple?"

Sherlock doesn't meet his eyes when he says "It's irritating hearing you repeat yourself so often. Especially when it falls on deaf ears. The way you feel the constant need to delcare your hetrosexualtiy is maddening in it's redundancy."

Then yanks his arm from John's grip and hurries on again, his long legs covering ground quickly with broad strides. John pauses for the briefest of moments, running Sherlock's answer in his mind and decides _something_ is off. "Wait, Sherlock?!" he calls after him, speeding to a trot, trying to catch up with him. He needs to figure this out.

Sherlock is several feet ahead of him and shows no sign of stopping. "Sherlock would you stop running away!" he growls in frustration.

That got the detective's attention. "Running away?" he demands incredulously rounding on John.

"Yes running away." he insists; firmly holding Sherlock's icy glare.

"I'm not running away. I'm moving with a purpose as you should be; we do have a case on our hands." he snaps before turning to move again.

 John's already anticipated this and grabs him arm; holding tight.

"Sherlock stop. Listen." he says pitching his voice low and firm. "You're not being completely honest here and while that's not uncommon for you I want to know what going on since it involves me as well. Now is this part of the case or something?"

Sherlock looks rather exasperated "For the case? What could this possibly have to do with the case?" he questions in disbelief.

"I don't know. Under cover or something." John offers, his furrowed brow conveying his confusion and desperate attemtpt to understand.

"You watch too much TV John. Under cover? Really?" Sherlock mocks; coloring his tone with a derisory laugh.

Then he tries to turn again but John doesn't release him; unaffected by Sherlock's attempt at insult. "Why should I stop denying that we're a couple?" he insists; adopting a

 tone that brokers no argument.

"Because we are!" Sherlock snarls; yanking his arm from Johns grip so he can gesture wildly as he explains.

Well that's the last thing John expected to hear from Sherlock's mouth.

He recovers quickly from his shock though; demanding explanations. "What? We're the _hell_  did you get that idea Sherlock!"

 "For god's sake John!" Sherlock groans in an utter exasperation "We just need to admit it to ourselves. Look at us. Look at the way we work. Look at the way we live" he supplies gesturing between them.

"A lot of people live and work together Sherlock." John argues.

Sherlock gives him a look akin to the one he uses when they're on a case and John is being particularly slow in understanding something. "Our entire lives are wrapped around each other. You're the only one who can make me eat, sleep, laugh. The only one who I allow to work with me, to solve cases with me. The only one who's presence I not only tolerate but enjoy. I'm the only one who could restore you after the war. The one who healed your limp and tremors. Deny it all you like, John, but you're being unnessecairly foolish and obtuse."

John opens his mouth to protest again but Sherlock cuts him off; continuing with his tirade.

"Everyone sees it John! I know you may not like it; I'm not too thrilled about the whole thing myself. The last thing I need or want for that matter is to get involved in a romantic relationship. I've always focused solely on the Work and now I'm distracted from it. But it's not something we can protest against and this is getting tedious. We need to stop lying to everyone, lying to ourselves and accept that fact that we are a couple!"

With that Sherlock whirls angrily away hurrying up the road and disappearing around a corner. John's eloquent response to all of this is to stand there opening and closing his mouth; staring at the corner Sherlock disappeared around moments ago looking for all the world like a very confused fish.

His mind has evidently decided it would be better served elsewhere because he can't seem to form a coherent thought. He's not even breathing; just standing there feeling like he's in a surreal sort of dream-state. It takes him a moment to collect himself but he manages to as all his thoughts come rushing back into his mind swirling furiously.

Belatedly he thinks to chase after Sherlock and dashes around the corner only to find that he has completely disappeared. After scanning the streets once more he decides it's probably for the best anyway because he has a lot to think over now. Without noticing or caring where he's headed he turns in the opposite direction and begins to walk; replaying Sherlock's tirade over and over in his mind.

 

 

 


	2. Sherlock's Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock's thoughts after his outburst in the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no beta for this story. If you notice mistakes please feel free to let me know and I'll fix them. Thanks!

Sherlock lets out a huff; tugging his coat tighter around him. Of course the temperature just had to drop a good ten degrees whilst he's out. And the wind just has to billow; whipping his coat edges dramatically. Of course it does.

He's sitting on the edge of train tracks headed out of town; fingers steepled in concentration. He's a rather odd sight really; a well dressed young man perched on the edge of a dingy railroad deep in thought. Of course he doesn't care about that. All he cares about at the moment is his emotional outburst from earlier.

 _His_  emotional outburst. There is something wrong with that sentence.

Oh. Right.

He doesn't have emotional outbursts. At least he hasn't before.

So foolish! He mentally berates himself. Which is what he's been doing for the past eighty three minutes as he sits on the tracks. He's also alternately been contemplating how he should proceed with John.

Oh he's managed to solve the case as well. Elementary really.

He shoots a quick text to Mycroft with his deductions and conclusion.

But back to the more pressing matter. Wait -

More pressing matter? Since when are his emotions, his relations a more pressing matter than a case?

What is John Watson doing to him?

 _Humanizing._  He decides.

But what about John's reaction to the whole thing? Why is he so resistant to it?

Perhaps he's ashamed of his feelings. Sherlock can understand that; having struggled with a similar dilemma himself when he finally realized his growing attraction to John. Caring is not an advantage. Feelings are a pathetic attempt at a substitute for higher intellect used by the mediocre masses. At least that's what he used to think. Yet it didn't matter how resistant he was to the emotions welling inside him; he couldn't stem their flow and after a while he stopped trying. Why waste energy fighting a loosing battle?

But John has had romantic interactions before. He's not ashamed of having emotions and attachments.

So perhaps it's the object of his affections that's the problem? He doesn't like to admit it but perhaps  _he_  is the problem. He knows he can be rather difficult to manage. Perhaps John loves him; is aware of his feelings but doesn't want to have them. Perhaps he wishes he could love someone else? It would make sense. He didn't want to love John either.

Not that it's anything against John mind you. John's wonderful.

He's amiable, funny loyal, determined, strong and brave. He's fairly intelligent compared to the masses and even though his deductions are generally incorrect he honestly tries. And he always listens to Sherlock's theories even if they seem outlandish; especially when Sherlock presents him with the logical facts behind the deductions. He can take Sherlock's brutal honesty without offense. Yet he also seeks to protect those who do take offense. An admirable quality Sherlock must admit.

Of course there's also his weathered face, hardened by war. Etched with memories from his past, sometimes as transparent as a book. Then other times like a firm stone, refusing to budge, to give in, to reveal anything. His eyes can be bright as a summer's sky or dark and violent as a winter's storm.  He's a fire-fight wrapped in the guise of a dull man dressed in jumpers and he never fails to intrigue.

Oh hell. Sherlock really is thoroughly attached. But then he knew that anyway.

The question that remains is what to do about it?

Wait - back up.

Repeat.  _Deductions are generally incorrect._

Perhaps that's the entire issue. Maybe John really doesn't see, doesn't understand. Maybe he's reached an incorrect conclusion about the two of them. So how to proceed then? Logic and past experience dictates that if he explains himself to John he will come around to Sherlock's way of thinking. All he needs to do is explain in a simple scientific method. Just lay out the evidence that lead him to the conclusion that they already function as a couple and John will undoubtedly reach the same conclusion.

Then they can proceed in becoming an official couple. Encouraged he leaps from his metal perch and begins hurriedly back towards town. Then a thought occurs to him.

Where is he to find John? In his room? Or did John take to the streets as well in an attempt to sort out his thoughts. He digs out his phone and shoots of a quick text; hoping John will answer.

**3:20**

Where are you?

_SH_

Of course John will always answer Sherlock and replies after a bit.

**3:22**

At a small pub one the edge of town.

_JW_

**3:24**

What are you doing there?

_SH_

**3:25**

Thinking.

_JW_

John chooses a pub of all places to think? It's no wonder him mind doesn't function at Sherlock's level. How can you possibly attain maximum intellectual capacity in a noisy crowded environment?

**3:26**

Come meet me at the inn.

_SH_

**3:28**

Not yet. Need more time

_JW_

Irritated he shoots of a sharp reply

**3:29**

Fine. Just try not to become too intoxicated. I want to talk.

_SH_

**3:30**

Don't worry. I've barely had a drop.

_JW_

He nods to himself and slips his phone back into his pocket. How long will John need?

What should he do in the meantime?

He consciously slows his pace as he approaches the town; lengthening his journey. Perhaps now would be a good time to organize the evidence in his mind palace? Yes. Most certainly.

So slowly wandering down back streets towards the inn Sherlock sorts and files data for his upcoming discussion with John.


	3. Pub Ponderings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John retreats into his drink to try and cope with Sherlock's revelation.

John; for his part isn't doing so well. He's having a hell of a time trying to wrap his mind around what occurred earlier. He wandered the streets aimlessly for while replaying Sherlock's tirade in his head _._

_"Look at the way we work. Look at the way we live" "We fight for each other. We protect each other." "We need to stop lying to everyone, lying to ourselves and accept that fact that we are a couple!"_

The words tumbled around in his mind as he struggled to process them. One thing was for sure; he couldn't deny anything Sherlock said. No matter how hard he tried. And believe me he did. For a good half-hour actually. But it was in vain.

Re-examining his life since he met Sherlock; everything that had happened between them he began to realize why people assumed there was something going on between them. But there isn't. He is not gay.

Strangely that seemed to have become his mantra since moving in with Sherlock. But it's true. He likes women. He'd been dating them since he was fifteen and never had the slightest inclination otherwise. But now there's this strange relationship with Sherlock. And even though he has been vehemently denying any interest in Sherlock that way; the idea isn't unpleasant to him. Not really. I mean Sherlock is a rather amazing man right?

But he is not gay.

Glancing ahead he notices a pub and decides that he really needs a drink. All this wandering and wondering is getting him nowhere. Maybe if he can relax a bit he can work through this easier. He speeds his pace as he nears the pub. Pulling on the door he enters. The pub is dimly lit and has a pleasantly familiar aroma of food and beer mingling in the air. It's a bit noisier than he would like; a decent size crowd of younger couples at the bar; but it will do. He gets his drink and finds a booth farther towards the back; tucked out of the way. Perfect.

He sips his drink replaying Sherlock's tirade over again. His mind seems to be set on repeat. Sherlock's tirade. I'm not gay. Sherlock's tirade. I'm not gay.

Round and round the thoughts played across his mind.

" _I know you may not like it; I'm not too thrilled about the whole thing myself. The last thing I need or want for that matter is to get involved in a romantic relationship."_

" _It's not something we can protest against and this is getting tedious."_

Resistance is futile. John snorted in amusement as the Star Trek quote arose in his mind in response to Sherlock's words.

" _Our entire lives are wrapped around each other."_

It's true. How many times had he left his date because Sherlock called him?

How many late nights had he spent tearing around London chasing a criminal with Sherlock? How many times had he re-scheduled his shifts at the clinic or left early at Sherlock's request? He was always concerned with Sherlock. Where he was, what he was doing.

But I'm not gay.

"Well I am. And look at the two of us." a new voice pushed into his mind; Irene Adler. That was her response to his protest. He hadn't given it much thought at the time. He didn't really like her and often tuned out what she had to say. But there was something there. She was gay. She liked women. Yet she had obviously been interested in Sherlock. Very interested. But it was only him. She wasn't interested in any other man. So perhaps it's the same for him? Maybe his problem is that he's been looking at Sherlock as a gender; not a person. Perhaps he needs to re-evaluate Sherlock. So how would he describe Sherlock? A windfall of adjectives assaults his mind at the question.

Irksome. Enthralling. Chaotic. Spectacular. Brutal. Brilliant. Insufferable. Capricious. Fasinating. Eccentric. Impulsive.

And how does Sherlock make him feel?

Exasperation. Excitement. Intrigued. Irritated. Captivated. Perturbed.

Like he's caught up in a whirlwind of chaos and danger and adventure. Like he's being driven mad but never wants it to end. Like he can't escape. Like he doesn't want to.

" _Dear god_ " he thinks,  _"That sounds like the way people describe love"_

Well of course it does. He loves Sherlock; he realizes with a sudden startling clarity. Of course he does. How could he possibly have missed it? All these emotions tumbling inside him in relation to Sherlock aren't friendship. It's not brotherly affection or simple friendly concern. Though that's how he's been dismissing them as they slowly grew through the past months. So obvious.

 _He_  loves Sherlock. He loves  _Sherlock_. His mind spins the thought in circles like a broken record as he struggles to accustomize himself to it. And Sherlock; it would seem, loves him in return. That realization actually causes him to choke on his drink in surprise.  _"Holy shit"_  just about sums up the disbelief and other indescribable emotions whirling around in him. This is all so surreal.

At that moment the one responsible for turning his world upside down and inside out sends him a text wanting to know where he is. A short conversation ensues; ending with him assuring Sherlock he will be sober and ready to sort this all out. He just needs a bit more time to adjust. To being in love. With an eccentric and brilliant detective. With a man.

Deep breaths John.


	4. A Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his revelation John gets into a bit of trouble with some of the other pub patrons. It's really not his day....

Thirty seven minutes later and John decides it's time to face the music. Or whatever the hell that figure of speech is.

He's drained his glass while he was sitting there lost in thought; so his assurance to Sherlock that he had "barely had a drop" no longer rang true. But that was of no consequence. He can hold his drink rather well and one is certainly not enough to inhibit his normal function. He lets out a heavy sigh as he stands; noting that he doesn't feel as elated as he probably should. He has just realized he is in love and that the object of his affections is in love with him. Isn't that something most people consider cause for celebration? Shouldn't he be shouting from the rooftops? Or smiling at least.

But then again most people aren't in love with Sherlock Holmes.

This is not going to be a run of the mill romance. Hell, it may not even be considered romance at all. This isn't going to be about pet-names, cuddles and good morning kisses. Not in the least.

John's not even sure if anything will really change between the two of them.

Sherlock  _obviously_  isn't incapable of emotion like most people think; their morning "conversation" erased any doubt in John's mind about Sherlock's "human status".

Yet he certainly has difficulty expressing himself emotionally. John recalls the pool incident and Sherlock's stumbling expression of gratitude that he barely managed to decipher among Sherlock's stuttering dialogue. He's gotten better of course.

Like that time he told John that  _"I'd be lost without my blogger."_  It sounded downright affectionate coming from Sherlock. So he was capable of expressing his emotions and affections; it just wasn't something that happened very often. And when it did you had to look for it; Sherlock was the sort that made you read between the lines in every way.

This would be no different.

Although he wasn't prone to physical contact, in moments of excitement he often hugged or kissed Ms. Hudson. And although it's entirely different from the form of affection they will be expressing it goes to show that Sherlock isn't as much of a stranger to "base human reactions" as he likes to think.

Irene proved to John that Sherlock has a side of him that is still affected by the tides of nature. So whilst it will certainly be difficult perhaps it won't be as stoic of a relationship as he was originally worried it would be. After all Sherlock could be rather warm with him on occasion and surely this emotional revelation will thaw him even more.

Encouraged with his musings; he strides towards the door. And right into a younger red-headed woman. Well technically she stumbled into him as she made her way tipsily from the bar towards a table.

Guinness went splashing through the air, landing on his tan jumper as she stumbled trying to regain her balance and prevent herself from falling.

"God, I'm so sorry." comes John's apology; almost instinctually.

He helps her re-balance and she shoots him a grateful smile; then realizes where her spilled beverage landed. "Oh no, I'm so sorry!" she cries.

"No. It's fine. I should have been paying more attention." he reassures her.

Really he just wants to get out of there and long-winded apologies aren't what he needs at the moment.

"No. All my fault. I don't think I'm entirely sober." she says with a giggle.

He manages a polite smile, saying "Careful not to have too much more then." she nods in agreement and John steps around her; trying to leave.

But that's not going to happen. He feels a rough hand on his shoulder; pulling him around to face a wiry blond youth. Who is completely trashed. Lovely.

"Thass my gurl." he growls drunkenly. The slurring detracts from the menacing vibe he's trying for though. "Right, well you can keep her." John says; pulling himself from the man's grasp. "Don mess arounn wif me. I knowwhen a guys after my gurl." he slurs advancing towards John; who backs up to compensate.

This is really not what he needs right now. "Nick don't be stupid!" his girlfriend tries to interject. "He wasn't flirting with me." she insists.

But Nick is far too drunk to listen. "He wasstoo. I saw 'em"

"We just bumped into each other!" she insists; trying to pull him out of John's personal space.

But he ignores her. "Tryin that move eh? Bum into the gurl and offer hera drink then righ? Think you're smooth huh?"

Now John's getting pissed. This guy really is ridiculous. "I'm not flirting with your girlfriend!" he snaps. "I'm just trying to leave!" he insists angrily.

But Nick isn't dropping the matter. "Do you thin I'm stupid? I know when anotha guys after my gurl."

And John just loses it. "I'm Not After Your Girl! Or Anyone's For That Matter!" he shouts. "I Happen To Be In Love With A Man!" Damn. That certainly wasn't supposed to come out. Maybe he shouldn't have finished that drink.

Instead of deterring Nick though, it just adds more fuel to his drunken anger. " So ya think its funny then? Juss to mess 'round witha gulr like that?"

"Nick you're being a bastard. Leave it!" his girlfriend hisses; furious and embarrassed by her boyfriend's behavior.

"What in hell -" comes John's angry utterance before its cut short by a guttural sort of  _Omph._ Nick's taken a swing at John and just like that their verbal "debate" ends and a very physical one begins.

John manages rather well against his drunken swings and is close to victory until a handful of other patrons decide they want in on the action. Apparently a fist-fight is more fun than chatting up a waitress or watching the game.

So there is John; up against five drunken fighters. And yes; he's kicking their collective arses. It's not hard really. They're certainly not skilled fighters and rather unsteady, having consumed more than their share of alcohol.

So he just ducks and dodges out of the way of their badly aimed and ill-timed blows. He even gets few good hooks of his own in at them. Nick now has a black eye and another of the fighters is stumbling back after a blow to the stomach.

But then they get smart; or as close to "smart" as they can get. Teaming up on him; the two larger men grab his arms; wrestling him against the bar, allowing the others free-range to come at him.

He struggles mightily against them; just beginning to break free as he hears a familiar baritone cutting through the din.

"Police!"

 

 


	5. Police!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Sherlock's here to save the day.....

Fifty-three minutes.

That's how long it had been since he'd texted John. That's how long he'd been loitering about town; delaying his return to the inn. His mind palace was well organized for the coming discussion and now he is just impatient. Very impatient.

Fifty-four minutes. He lets out a huff of impatience; circling back around a side street. Then he smells it. Just faintly; the distinctive aroma of alcohol and food mingled together. A pub. There is a pub nearby. Perhaps it's the one John has sought refuge in? Should he go fetch him? He's tired of waiting and the sooner he can explain this all to John the better.

It takes him only a moment to locate the pub, just a few streets down. Pulling the doors open he is met with a raucous din caused by a fist-fight. Surely this isn't the sort of place John would be. Or if he was here then he must have left already because he certainly wouldn't have stayed with this drunken scuffle disrupting the peace he was seeking.

Wondering where he is to find John now; Sherlock turns with an irritated huff to leave. And just as he does he catches a glimpse of the fighter at the center of it all.

It's John. His John. In a barroom brawl. Well that's certainly unexpected.

It only takes Sherlock a moment to deduce what probably occurred. Judging by the red-face woman screaming at one of the fighters to stop acting _"Like such a possessive bastard"_ and the fury with which said fighter is attacking John indicates that he thought John was flirting with his girlfriend. And in his intoxicated state determined the matter would be best settled with his fist. The other fighters simply joined in for the heck of it once the fight was underway.

John was managing rather well against his attackers, moving swiftly and fighting effectively. Sherlock couldn't help but admire him as he watched. Of course he had seen John fight many times before but it was always for cases and generally he was involved in a fight of his own so he couldn't really observe him. It was quite thrilling actually, the fierce, precise movements had something akin to grace within them.

Sherlock had half a mind simply to watch John finish the drunken louts off and cheer when he was done. Then two of the fighters grabbed John; wrestling him against the bar, allowing the others free-range to come at him. And Sherlock certainly isn't going to stand for that.

He entertains the notion of joining in the fight with John; but decides quickly against it. While it certainly has a heroic flair to it; he has a far more effective solution.

Rustling through his coat pockets he finds the badge he most recently nicked from Lestrade and shouts "Police!" He moves forward in the crowd waving the badge for all to see repeating "Police! Break it up!" and they do.

All the fighters save John and a wiry youth scatter as he comes towards them. The look on John's face is priceless and it's all Sherlock can do to keep from laughing. The utter bemusement it quickly masked though when he remembers he has to play along with whatever sort of ploy Sherlock is pulling.

Tucking his badge back into his pocket he continues with his acting. "What's going on in here boys?" he demands in a convincing impression of Lestrade that leaves John struggling against chuckles.

Sherlock is having far too much fun with this. Before John can say anything the wiry youth starts in "He's flirtin wif my gurl!"

"I already told you Nick, it was an accident!" snaps the red-head at his side.

Sherlock hold up a glove hand; indicating silence. "Sir, deplorable as it may be, flirting with another man's girlfriend is not a crime. And certainly no reason to start a fight and disturb everyone's evening."

"But he -" "However it's obvious you felt you were defending your girlfriend's honor against this lecherous man which is an inarguably admirable quality."

Nick is far too wasted to realize that Sherlock is mocking him instead of complimenting him. Again John finds himself at war with a fit of giggles.

"I see no need to make further issue of this." Sherlock continues, essentially dismissing Nick. "Everyone please return to your tables and drinks." he says; raising his voice to address the entire pub.

Turning to John, keeping up the facade he says "Sir, since you seem intent on disrupting everyone's pleasant night at the pub I will be escorting you out."

"Yes officer." John replies; subtly lacing it with a teasing tone; making Sherlock struggle against a smirk.

They head for the door and upon opening it come face to face with a real police officer. Apparently the bartender called the police shortly after the first punch was thrown.

Sherlock steps outside, pulling the door closed behind him. "All taken care of sir." he says, with a smile.

"Sorry? What? I was called out here to break up a fight." The officer responds, confusion evident tin his tone and expression.

"Yes I gathered. I'm Detective Inspector Lestrade." Sherlock says flashing the badge quickly at the officer. "I'm on holiday here for a couple of days. Just ducked into the pub for a pint with my friend" he says motioning towards John. "The fight was already underway when I got inside. Figured that I'd give you guys a hand and just flash my badge. Usually all it takes to break up a fight. Hope you don't mind."

The officer looks surprised, but rather pleased. "Oh, no, not at all. Thanks actually. I get calls like this almost twice a week. You've just saved me a bit of trouble."

"My pleasure. If you don't mind now my friend and I would like to get back to the inn. Settle in for the night." Sherlock says, with a charming smile.

"Right. Of course. Thanks again sir." The officer says before turning and heading back to his car.

Once he's pulled out of sight John and Sherlock collapse into a fit of giggles. "That - was - brilliant" John manages breathlessly, between giggles.

"Yes. I rather enjoyed myself." Sherlock agrees with a grin.

"You make a very convincing policeman." John says.

"Do I?" Sherlock questions with a smug smile.

"Yeah. I half expected you to arrest me." John quips.

Sherlock snorts. "That would've been unrealistic. They rarely arrest in small barroom brawls and such."

"Ah, so you're not going to handcuff me then?" John counters back, teasingly.

"Maybe later." is Sherlock's thoughtless response.

A strange sort of grim smile overtakes John's face as he replies "Making assumptions are we?"

Sherlock doesn't understand. "What?"

"Nothing." John says; shaking his head. Of course Sherlock would miss the innuendo in his own response.

But Sherlock doesn't miss it; just takes a moment to realize it. When he understands the unintentional undertone to his phrasing he stutters an explanation.

"I - that's certainly not - I was just -"

John waves his hand to silence him. "Its fine." he insists. "It was meant as a joke." Sherlock manages a coherent explanation. "I know." he assures him. "It's just after this morning..."

Quite suddenly Sherlock recalls the circumstance that caused him to seek John out in the first place and in an instant his Mind Palace is at attention, waiting for him to begin accessing the necessary information.

"Yes. "I've devised a method to clear this all up-"

"No." John cuts him off.

Sherlock lets out a soft sigh and argues "But John we need to sort-"

"This out." John finishes for him. "Yes, I agree. But let's get back to the inn. We need to have a proper conversation about this and I don't want to be left in the middle of the street again with more questions than answers."

Sherlock actually looks a bit sheepish at John's reference to the morning incident. "Yes. Right. Sorry abou-" he begins.

"Just shut up and walk." John says, cutting him off again. But there is a touch of fondness to his tone. A sort of affectionate amusement, mingled with exasperation.

And Sherlock says nothing; just follows along beside him as they make their way quickly back to the inn.


	6. No Need To Explain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale chapter in which the boys sort everything out.

Sherlock struggles to keep himself silent throughout their journey; per John's request. There are few instances in his life when has he remained silent at the command of another; and none at all when he has deductions and information to share.

But he does now. For John's sake.

Fifteen minutes later and they're back at the inn. John doesn't hesitate when they enter; heading directly for his room and undoubtedly expecting Sherlock to follow. Which he does of course. This is certainly a turn-about considering that it's usually Sherlock who expects John to follow.

They enter; John clicking on the lights and motioning to one of two arm chairs for Sherlock to sit. He perches upon its edge, anxiously; whilst John sinks back into the other, allowing himself a sigh of contentment at it's comfort.

Sherlock; true to form, dives right in. "John, I want to apologize for this morning." he begins, which greatly surprises John.

Sherlock almost never apologizes, well unless he wants something. In some ways that rule still applies here as Sherlock has figured that an apology is appropriate in this situation and it might make John more cooperative in the ensuing conversation.

"Shouting at you in the street was - well, it was a bit not good."

John manages a half-smile at Sherlock's phrasing.

"No it wasn't." John agrees. "Certainly got my attention though."

"Yes well, I was just getting rather irritated at your ignorance. Usually your ignorance is simply an annoyance; easily ignored. But this simply continued to grate on me. I couldn't stand it anymore. However, I've come to realize that the obtuseness you've displayed is not your fault. It's merely a product of how slowly and inefficiently your cognitive functions are." Sherlock explains, his hands gesturing as he speaks.

"Right. Thanks for that." John quips.

"No - I mean -" Sherlock let's out an irritated huff and he tries to better explain himself. "I mean that I _understand_ John."

"You do?" John questions increduliuosly. The high-functioning sociopath with horrible emotional skills has managed to wrap his head around John's delima? Or his ex-delima I suppose.

"Certainly. You've simply reached and incorrect conclusion about the two of us. It's not dissimilar to your incorrect deductions made on cases." Sherlock says, with a smile.

So he doesn't understand.

John opens his mouth to protest, but Sherlock cuts him off before his first word. "No, I'm not reproaching you. As I already stated you're not at fault for your obtuseness. But it is something that needs to remedied and I intend to do so."

So Sherlock thinks that he is still in disagreement about them being a couple. He tries to explain to Sherlock that they can skip all of this; that he does understand. But of course, he doesn't get a chance. "But I've realized -"

Sherlock cuts him off before he can finish; not bothering to process John's half-sentence and continuing on with explaining his plan. "John just listen for a moment whilst I explain my solution to the issue caused by our undisciplined emotions this morning."

 _Our_ undisciplined? John wasn't the one shouting about being a couple in the streets. His emotions are rather submissive to his mental dictation thanks to years of military service; but then Sherlock has never been one to accept blame, even when it's rightly placed upon him. And really it's not entirely his fault either. He has had so little experience with emotion that it's unsurprising that he was unable to control them.

"I believe that this is best approached with logic, as are all things. When you make incorrect deductions and conclusions on a case the easiest way to correct you is to explain the evidence and facts that disprove your theory and support another's; in this case, mine." Sherlock begins.

John finds himself fighting a smile oddly enough. He can't help it; with how all of this is paralleling their Work and he can already see Sherlock transferring into case mode; submerged in his world of logic and facts and figures. That's what this is for Sherlock, a case. Another puzzle to be pieced together. Another mystery to be solved. The largest and most complex that he will ever encounter. People have spent centuries trying to decode love and analyze romance. Yet they often find themselves swept up in its tide; experiencing it instead of understanding it. This is not something Sherlock can deduce and reduce to chemicals; not something he can catalogue into bite-sized facts and figures. But he sure as hell is going to try.

So John decided to humor him for just a bit. He is rather curious how the emotionally-obtuse sociopath managed to deduce their mutual attraction before he did. But then again, he was up to his ears in denial, so maybe it's not that much of a surprise.

"I've sorted through my Mind Palace and devised three main categories of relevant information that lead to revelation and will undoubtedly lead to yours. The three categories are - How We Function As A Couple Already. My Reactions And Opinions Regarding You Which Suggest A Romantic Attachment. And Your Reactions And Opinions I've Deduced That Suggest A Mutual Romantic Attachment To Me"

Wow. He really is treating this like a presentation or something. This is actually a relief to John; who is happy to see that being in love isn't going to change the Sherlock he has come to know and love. Well it will change him a bit; but he will still be Sherlock. And he notes something, a glimmer that might be considered a "common symptom" of affection. If he can just get Sherlock to focus on it that might help things along. He certainly doesn't want to change Sherlock; but he also doesn't want their relationship to be so academic.

Sherlock was entirely in his element and continued"Now to start off I will begin with how we function as -"

"Can we skip ahead?" he pipes up, cutting Sherlock off.

"What?" Sherlock questions.

"Skip ahead to your - what was it - reactions and opinions in regard to me." John clarifies.

"That will disrupt the methodology of my argument." Sherlock protests, looking exasperated and John's continual interuptions.

"I think it will be of more benefit to me though. This is about the two of us, so we need to understand each other. It's more important for me to understand your feelings in regard to this. So just start there okay?"

"I - um -yes, alright." Sherlock fumbles, adjusting to this change in course.

"To start off we shall retrace my footsteps which lead to my discovery of my uh - fondness for you."

John listens intently; all amusement gone. This will be a rather revealing conversation.

"I found myself analyzing your personality as it was intriguing to me. I noted it most vividly one evening when I was attempting to organize my Mind Palace and I realized I was having a difficult time sorting you into any particular area so I began to file through every area and adjective that applies to you and I was rather intrigued by what I found. I will relay my cataloguing to you."

A sort of wry humor plays across John's mind as he recalls that he did something similar shortly before his own realization.

"You're a fighter and a soldier. Always determined to move forward and never letting anyone stop you. Determined to protect those who can't protect themselves and to do so with honor. You're a doctor. You're always concerned with caring for others and look to their welfare before your own. This may be considered foolish in some instance but overall it is an admirable quality. It was exasperating at first when you began to force me to eat and sleep.

Yet I've found that I actually appreciate your concern with my transport. It's an inarguably valuable asset to have someone that can and will care for me so I don't put my body out of commission when I'm too focused on a case to be concerned with it. You're loyal and steadfast almost to a fault at times. You can be irritatingly average and your slow cognitive function is often an inconvenience.

However you're very steady under pressure and calm in the face of chaos which is a rare virtue. You would appear to be a fairly average man and in some ways you are. However I've learned that overall you're anything but average. You come quite close to um- well -remarkable actually." Sherlock finishes, faltering a bit and trailing off uncomfortably as he realizes how close to affectionate his ending sentence sounds.

John is finding it hard not to grin like an idiot at Sherlock's description of him.

Clearing his throat; and putting his embarrassment aside Sherlock continues "So, that would sum up my analyzation of you. Now to move on to the reactions and opinions on regard to you."

"You know those are usually called  _feelings_  Sherlock." John can't help but comment.

Sherlock shoots him an irritated look and continues on as if he hadn't spoken. "To start off I should say that you have the rare pleasure of proving me wrong on quite a few points. I should be greatly displeased by this; however I find it difficult to remain angry at you for any extended period of time."

Yep, here it comes. Trickles of sentiment and affection are starting to seep through his analytical facade.

"I've always thought that emotions are a distraction. Relationships are troublesome and require too much effort that would be better spent in more intellectual pursuits. Yet you've shown me the benefits that can be derived from a relationship. You've shown me that emotions are a key element in relationships and shouldn't be dismissed so lightly. You've also disproven my opinion that many romantic notions do not exist anywhere except for literature.

I always thought that it was unrealistic to favor someone's laugh simply because of your attachment to them. A smile can't raise your body temperature. A voice should sound pleasant or unpleasant regardless of the affection you feel for the speaker. But with you I learned that is far from true. When you laugh I always want to join in. When you smile I do feel an odd sort of warmth. I find that I enjoy it when you talk, though other's voices grate on my nerves."

John can't believe what he's hearing this from Sherlock of all people.

"And the idea that a touch can feel electric? Impossible! At least I always thought so. But no, wrong again!" Sherlock is beginning to get more animated and agitated as various shades of affection and love begins to bleed through into his attempt at a logical argument.

"Whenever we touched; just accidental brushes even, I felt a current pass briefly between us. And I would feel the contact linger; tingling afterwards. And it makes no neurological sense!"

John is surprised that Sherlock has remained seated as he steadily grows more expressive; gesturing in exasperation with his arms.

"And another thing. Why in god's name do I have the constant desire to card my hands through your hair?" he demands, more of himself than of John.

"And the strangest things occupy my mind. I wonder how your skin feels. I wonder how you're lips taste. And it's ridiculous! I'm transfixed by your lip-licking habit and it's so damn annoying!"

He stops, forcing himself to calm, before continuing. "I spent weeks dwelling on these sort of questions. I went through two boxes of nicotine patches. When I finally understood where my own -" he falters for a moment, obviously struggling with his word choice. "my  _feelings"_  he decides; causing John to smile a bit "where coming from everything else clicked into place."

Sherlock barley takes a breath before he starts back up, trying to redirect the conversation away from him feelings as quickly as possible. "So there you have it. Now I shall return to my original topic so we can get this sorted out."

"Sherlock you don't need to -" John starts.

"John I've humored you long enough, please allow me to continue as planned." Sherlock intercedes. "Now I've gathered a great deal of data in relation to how we already function as a couple. This will be a key piece in the removal of your denial."

"But Sherlock I'm not-" John tries again.

"Gay. Yes, yes John I know." Sherlock cuts in, erroneously anticipating the rest of John's sentence. "If you'll simply let me finish-"

"No Sherlock. Let me finish. I'm not in-" he tires once more, growing more exasperated by the second.

Sherlock grolws in frustration and cuts him off again, saying "John! Please just be silent for a moment. I know you're resistant to this idea but once I explain everything will make perfect sen-"

And the room goes silent. Well not exactly silent. There is the gasp of surprise from Sherlock as John stands swiftly moving across the space between them and pressing his lips against Sherlock's in one fluid motion. There is a sigh of pleasure from John when Sherlock recovers from the above-mentioned surprise after a few milliseconds and responds enthusiastically. And of course a few involuntary muffled moans. Then heavy gasping breaths when they finally break apart.

So not silent. But they certainly weren't doing any talking.

Sherlock recovers after a moments and inquires with a breathless "Wha -?"

Okay maybe "recovers" isn't quite the right word.

John smiles at his dazed question and explains. "I was trying to tell you something and you wouldn't shut up long enough for me to say anything. So I shut you up myself."

"Oh - uh - okay. I mean - go ahead then." He says, gesturing with his hand for John to speak.

"I've figured it all out Sherlock. I realized it at the pub. I do love you. I was just so submerged in denial that I missed it. It was so obvious and I can't believe it took me this long to realize it, but I have. And I agree, we already function as a couple and should certainly make it an official arrangement." the grin that had been working its way onto his face as he spoke turned into a full blown smile at the look of thrilled surprise on Sherlock's face.

"Ah" is all Sherlock can say as his expression transitions from surprised to simply thrilled, then into a very familiar expression. That look of fascinated delight he gets when there is a new case. One with a particularly clever criminal judging by its intensity. John loves that look, but it's never been directed at him.

Sherlock will often wear it when explaining something about the case to him, but he knows the look isn't meant for him during those times. Sherlock simply can't contain it. But now it is meant for him and it's amazing. That intrigue mingled with exalting excitement and a concentration akin to obsession. All focused on him.

Forget adrenalin, the high he's getting from that look is unbelievable. And the fact that he's still standing barley a breath's distance from Sherlock, enveloped in his scent and presence is just taking him higher.

"So we're a couple now?" he murmurs, just wanting to be sure that there isn't anything else they need to clear up at the moment.

"Mhmm" is Sherlock's response, still holding his gaze intensely.

Damn him, that look is practically aphrodisiac. And before he's even aware of it the words slip brazenly from his mouth "What's that you were saying about putting me in handcuffs earlier?"

 

 

 

 


End file.
